The more I read the Bible lately, the more that little things pop out at me, that I hadn't seen before, and start to build into a general instruction that the whole of the Bible appears to be teaching me.
One of these instructions is that being a loner is not wise.
As I recall, the first verse that opened my eyes to this is from Proverbs:
Through desire a man, having separated himself, seeketh and intermeddleth with all wisdom. Proverbs 18:1
Let's take a peek in a different translation to make that clearer:
HE WHO willfully separates and estranges himself [from God and man] seeks his own desire and pretext to break out against all wise and sound judgment. Proverbs 18:1 (Amplified)
It was an interesting correlation to me, that the seeking of one's own desire is connected so strongly with being a loner, separating yourself from God and man. This has definitely been true in my own life. Each side feeds the other. The more I follow my own desire, the less desire I have for fellowship with all kinds of people, and vice versa.
The other night, I was reading Psalm 107 (which is a beautiful Psalm... it is highly recommended to read the whole thing). The first section talks about two different ways: the solitary or desolate way, and the right way:
4 They wandered in the wilderness in a solitary way; they found no city to dwell in. 5 Hungry and thirsty, their soul fainted in them. 6 Then they cried unto the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them out of their distresses. 7 And he led them forth by the right way, that they might go to a city of habitation. 8 Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men! 9 For he satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness. Psalm 107
Here, by implication, the "wrong way" is linked to desolation, or solitude. It is linked to having no dwelling place, to being stuck in a lost and wandering life.
Armed with these messages, I decided to do a quick search, to see if other writers came to the same conclusion. One search turned up an inspiring article by Walter A Henrichsen of the Navigators written in 1975, called Many Aspire - Few Attain (mirror). Again, it is a worthy read if you have the time.
Point #7 is "Avoid an Independent Spirit." He writes:
The seventh reason why people will never finish the race is they have an independent spirit. They are mavericks, loners. They want to serve God, but in their own way. Perhaps you are like the fellow I asked about the Episcopal form of government. He answered, "Well, I'm against bishops unless I can be one." A lot of Christians have that attitude. They are against spiritual authority and leadership unless they are the authority and leader. But God says He will not give you that which is your own until you have been part of that which is another man's (Luke 16:12). Walter A Henrichsen
Not only is being a loner unwise for the loner himself, but it is the wrong way to serve God. God gives us relationships with fellow Christians for a reason. We are stronger together than apart. (see also Being the Church)
This all speaks directly to me. While part of me loves friendship and social life, I have a natural loner tendency. It could just be laziness. I prefer the written word to verbal communication. I prefer my own sterile keyboard to handshaking with strangers. But this is not wise. It is not the right way. It is not the way to a "city of habitation."