A Pilgrim's Journal

My response was, the fact that such a law is necessary shows how far men in general have fallen. And we're blind to it. It is easy to think we're riding high, when we're actually in the gutter.

One reaction to such laws, that is natural for men to have, is that sex is something that is kinda promised at the wedding. So both parties should have a right to expect it. In fact, even the Bible tells husbands and wives to not deprive each other, except for short "sex fasts" for the purpose of spiritual growth. But even those periods are to be short. Sex within marriage is to be the norm, whenever either partner needs it.

But it is easy to forget that such a command is for the top of the mountain. It is not the hammer you use when things are not going well. It is the result of doing things right in the first place.

The husband, as the head, has a duty and responsibility here. If his wife does not want to have sex with him, he'd better find out why, and find out yesterday! And then fix the root problem, which is probably in himself, or some external friction.

I think this is a part of a general principle. There are places where women are not God's first choice for leadership. It's not that they can't do a good job. It's not that their ideas are bad. But it is not their role. A wife is not called to be a husband. A woman is not called to be the head of a church.

So when women start taking the lead, working to repair what should be obvious as broken to all men, it is a sign that something is seriously wrong. I think it is a sign that there is something wrong with the men. Women's response may not always be ideal, but it's better than what the men are doing, often by a long shot.

When women must join together and rise up and work hard just to pass a law to protect them from their own husbands, something is seriously wrong.

What kind of leader does not listen to his subordinates? What kind of manager ignores the advice of his workers? What kind of employer cares not for the details of what makes his business tick?

What kind of husband not only ignores his wife's speech, but physically abuses her to get his own way?

There should be no such thing as marital rape. The idea should not even cross a husband's mind. The repulsion of a wife from her husband should not be an issue. A husband and wife should be in a state of eager union.

But it does exist, and the responsibility falls squarely on men's shoulders. Who will God judge for the wretched state of women in Africa? Will He not judge their own husbands? He will judge them for their emotional violence, as well as the physical. He will judge them for what they have done to their wives, as well as all the good that they could have done, but didn't.

And He will judge us the same way.